number one.

Well here it goes...  I've intended to write this for a little over three years now and am relieved to be finally starting this little space.  I am totally a procrastinator and this is just one piece of the pile of evidence currently strewn about my life right now.  Not only a procrastinator but also a perfectionist, the two conflict quite a bit.  I put off doing things for fear they won't turn out perfectly.  And because of these personality pitfalls I have missed documenting so much of our journey.  There's no time like the present, and all guilt aside I am beginning this blog right now. 

I won't rewind and playback all the details and emotions of our story, I simply wouldn't do it justice.  I'll begin right now, here and today… 

We are in the thick of the most difficult time in our lives and though I am trying my best to let the sweetness triumph, most days I feel like I'm failing miserably.  I am terrified. Honestly I feel like I can't breath.  There are a lot of positive feelings I am sure I am supposed to be feeling, and trust me I want to be feeling them.  But nope… just terrified.

He is 2.  His name is Kiah and he is perfect.  Kiah needs a stem cell transplant and early next week we will be packing up and moving to Calgary so we can begin the process.  The good news is that sunshine follows him where ever he goes. My boy isn't phased at all, just as is sweet as ever.  Enjoying our daily appointments, telling the doctors and nurses what to do and soaking up all the attention.  As long as there are stickers involved he is happy.  Momma needs to take notes, this boy's got all the answers and he hides them deep in that old soul.